The way that each and every one of us eats is unique. The foods we like the taste of. The foods that make us feel good. That foods that remind us of that special moment. Our relationship to food is rather complex, it's no wonder fad diets and an obsession with calorie counting is tripping us up.
A knowledge of calories and an understanding of macronutrients can be useful, but the wellness industry's obsession with numbers and stripping away the enjoyment food can bring is never going to lead us to health or happiness long-term.
Here are a few signs that you might have a bad relationship with food:
you label foods as 'good' or 'bad'
eating the foods you enjoy brings you guilt
you have been in and out of different diets for many years
you tend to over-restrict your food intake which eventually leads you to binge on large meals
you have tracked calories and macros for many years
What does it mean to have a good relationship with food?
If you are new to the concept of improving your relationship with food, it can feel a little bizarre to refer to food and eating in this way. But our relationship with the food we eat is as important as the types of food we are choosing to nourish our bodies. It is, on every level, how we are connected to what we eat.
If you have a good relationship with food, it means that you consume all foods with zero feelings of guilt. No foods are off-limits and you honour your body's hunger and fullness cues well.
Food is more than fuel. Of course we should opt for foods that are nourishing and that give our bodies energy. But food is so much more than that. Food is there to be enjoyed. It brings people together and it celebrates cultures. Taking the time to develop a healthy relationship with food requires a lot of patience, but its importance really can't be overstated.
How to improve your relationship with food:
Many factors will influence how you approach your diet. How your parents spoke to you about food when you were younger, your social circles, your access to food, your religious and cultural experiences. In short: rebuilding a bad relationship with food is complex and may take time. Here are a few ways that you can start to work on improving that relationship:
Give yourself permission to eat
Often, if someone has been on multiple diets throughout their life, the advice and expectations of these diets tend to stick. Certain 'rules' become internalised and they can be hard to shake off. Unnecessary rules around food will not get you very far. You need to give yourself permission to eat.
Coffee is not a meal and you do not win any prizes for skipping meals either. Your body requires fuelling. How can you expect it to thrive if you keep over-restricting it?
Mindful eating
I get it. Life is busy and it sometimes is far easier to grab food whilst on the run or whilst doing other things. But make mealtimes an occasion. Food is there to be enjoyed, but how can you enjoy it if you don't give it your full attention? When we eat whilst performing other tasks we don't take the time to think about the taste or the texture of food, or whether we truly enjoy it. By slowing things down and really analysing how the food is making you feel, you will be able to better manage your body's feelings of hunger and fullness.
Shift your focus away from the aesthetic
Of course, there is nothing wrong with having an aesthetic goal. It is your body so you make the rules here. But if the way that you are eating is entirely centred around making your body look a certain way, it will be short-lived. Prioritise nourishing your body. Put your focus on what you can add into your diet to improve it, rather than what you need to take away from it. Maybe more protein would help you feel more satiated. Perhaps you could add more vegetables into your lunches to make them more balanced. Make those changes a positive experience.
All foods are welcome
If you find yourself referring to foods as "good" or "bad", it's time to shift your mindset. There are no such thing as good or bad foods. When we give moral value to the things we are eating, we then take on these values personally. We can see ourselves as "bad" if we caved into this food we were resisting. Often when someone eats a food they deem to be "bad", this can cause spiralling and worsening of food choices.
This is something I work on with my personal training clients regularly. Have you really been "bad"? Or did you simply enjoy a delicious food with friends? The way we speak about food really matters so now is the time to start changing that.
Shift away from the numbers
If you have been religiously tracking your food intake for months, or even years, you might want to think about bringing that habit to an end. Of course, tracking calories will give you great insight into the calorie and macronutrient breakdown of the foods you like to eat. But it can create a very restrictive mindset around managing our diets.
Food is so much more than the numbers. Yes, food can be measured in calories, but that is not all that it is. Obsessively monitoring our diets can strip us of the intuitive behaviours needed to manage our food intake and to build a healthy relationship with food.
In conclusion
So if you are wondering how to improve your relationship with food, don't aim to overhaul your entire diet overnight. To begin, simply grab one of the tips listed above and implement a small change. Then you can build upon that once it becomes habit.
The way we approach food is incredibly personal and taking those first few steps to improving our relationship with food can feel daunting. But picture yourself in the future being able to eat all foods freely, without any feelings of guilt. This might feel like an impossible dream, but I believe that all of us, with a little time and patience, can achieve it.
Important reminder: please be patient and give yourself time. Our relationship with food is influenced and shaped throughout our entire lives, so don't expect things to change instantly. If you would like support building a better relationship with food, click here to get in touch with me today for nutrition coaching. Or if you are looking for some healthy meal inspiration, head to my free resources page or check out some of my high protein smoothie recipes.
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